my journey through life

my bucket list

2009-04-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

I'm at a point where I want something to be done. However, I don't know how to do it. I want to accomplish something. Well, it all started after I watched the Bucket List. I was really moved by that film. My tears fell especially when Edward was saying his final words to Carter during the funeral. It was ironic that they became friends few months before they died. They were two different individuals with different personality and with different lifestyles yet they jived. Things really happen for a reason. I had some reflection and asked myself what do I needed and wanted to accomplish before I leave this world. It's amazing that even if they knew their death was fast approaching they enjoyed their life to the fullest. They were able to do the things they wanted and never thought would have done while they were in their younger years.
What if I'll have my own bucket list? What will I write there?
Hmmmmm.... I can start writing now....
1. Have the brow and ear piercing that I wanted.
2. Have a long and serious talk with my tatay.
3. Go see the wonderful places in the Philippines. (Mayon, Bohol, Palawan, Pagudpud and more)
I can't think of anything to add right now.... maybe tomorrow I will write some.... do I sound creepy? Well, just sharing my thoughts....

as the scar bleed

2009-04-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would still feel hurt. I never expected tears would still roll down.
I spent my weekend in San Pedro. It was already late, no it was already morning about 1 a.m. but I don't feel sleepy. Since there was nothing interesting I could watch on t.v. I decided to reminisce. I looked at my old photos and letters that I've kept over the years. It was fun as I saw my old pictures with my friends, family and exes. As I sorted some of the letters I saw the old love letters my ex wrote for me. I read one, he wrote it when we celebrated our first anniversary. I was surprised with myself when a tear fell. Yes, I'm still affected. I know it's not healthy, but what can I do? As I read a line in the letter I was sobbing. The line was saying "kasama ka sa mga plano ko sa future". Yeah, that was before. I am included in his plans. He was built his dreams and he strive to reach for it. Proud as he is today, he's almost achieving all of it. It's just that I don't know if I'm still on it. Yes, we still communicate. He calls me constantly from overseas. Whenever he's here he would go to our house and still feels like a family but it all makes me confused. He's acting as if we are still together but don't want to commit. It made me hanging in mid air.

April fool's

2009-04-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I don't like this feeling, I'm missing him. Well, somehow he became special to me. I just want to be with someone I can talk to right now. I want to unwind. There's something I want to do but I don't know how to start. hayz.....

not changing huh!

2009-03-31T07:51:00.000-07:00

Got up early this morning because of an unexpected call. I thought he already got it when I sent him an off line message. I thanked him for the good times. I also shared the messages I got from his "ex-girlfriend".
He called me at around 4:00 a.m. The whole day today I looked gloomy because I haven't had enough good night sleep. Well, we just had a short talk. I told him we'll be better of as friends. No hassles and no worries. He didn't seem to take my words seriously but I'm happy that I was able to express what I feel in a nice way. I don't know if it was clear to him but for me it is as clear as the summer sky. He still tried to make me believe in his lies. He's still as sweet as before but I needed more than that. I need to feel secured and loved in a way that I wanted. I know we're really not into each other that much. Even for such a short time we were together this morning we were both smiling though I was interrogating him we're both ok. It sounds extraordinary but it's true. I asked him what did he do to his ex-girlfriend, why she became so paranoid. I even tease him that maybe he feels like he's the most handsome guy because an intelligent woman acted like a stupid girl because of him.
Now it's clear between the two of us. I don't feel any bitterness (that's true) and he will always be one of my best friends.

as the secrets were revealed

2009-03-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

I remained quiet and calm. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I still want to keep the friendship but it seems it won't be easy.
Honestly, I don't feel hurt that this will end soon. Really, maybe because I wasn't in love with him. I feel sorry for the girl who stayed with him for 3 years. She seems to be paranoid. Her mind was occupied with so much doubt and betrayal. I think it wasn't a healthy relationship they shared. The girl keeps on asking me since when we became lovers. She thought it was a year ago just because she read my blogs in my friendster account. When all those time we were just platonic best friends. Now I know why he removed me from the list of his friends in friendster. Another question was answered because of that, she thinks that I have a feeling for him which is untrue. That idea was embedded on his mind that's why he thought I like him. I can't believe someone that is so intelligent would stay in a relationship built on lies and betrayal.

betrayed by my bestfriend

2009-03-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

Why?
I was doing fine before you came back. I'm living my life the way I wanted. Though I frequently pray for "him" to come my way still I was pretty happy with what I've had. Then you came out of nowhere, after 10 years we met again. I was happy, excited and overwhelmed. I never thought we would see each other after so long. But, hey! it happened. Then we moved on to the next level of our relationship. We tagged each other as boyfriend-girlfriend. At first I can't believe it's true. I've never had anything that fast. But, I just let it be since I've known you for so long time (as I thought). I enjoyed the road trips, night hang outs with some of our friends, out of town, swimming and just being with you. I believed everything you said about yourself and your family. But secrets are meant to be revealed. Lies were unveiled. Slowly I'm figuring out what you were hiding. Though I don't go searching for it. I accepted some of it believing it was just a few. As days go by new things are coming up. You are like a puzzle for me. I'm waiting for your revelations but it seemed you want to conceal it. Now, I don't know what to do, what to believe and if I would trust everything that you say.

busy days

2008-12-01T23:30:00.000-08:00

I've been very busy. I've attended to so many things. I've dealt with many important matters.

ano daw?

Well, it's been two months since I started in my new work. I find it exciting and a very good learning experience. I became more adept with search engines; cautious with my grammar, punctuation and spelling; and be very aware of my statistics.

Being busy, made me divert my attention and don't think of the bad things that happened. Come to think of it, this is lot better than before.

Sometimes I miss my peers. But I moved on. I get to chat with them once in awhile, when I have the time and the energy. Yes, I still value them as my friends. I even attended Ices' birthday party.

That's all for now. I need to get some sleep. My shift starts at 4 a.m. until 1 p.m. I have to be up at 2 a.m. to get ready for work.

busy days ahead

2008-10-19T06:05:00.000-07:00

I started my training last Monday. It was fun! We had wonderful trainers Neil and Kenosha. Neil is British and Kenosha is American. They were both patient and kind. I made new friends.

There's so many things I wanna write but there is something holding it back. I was kind of depressed last night. I know I shouldn't feel like this. But why did I felt a pinch in my heart when he told me about the status of his love life. I like the way we are. Friends and no strings attached. Actually he calls me best friend. I love it like this. When he told me about mb I was surprised and sad. There are things that I can't do anymore. What? Well, first of all I can't hang out to his place whenever I like, just like before. Yes, we are not doing anything wrong. But I am still a girl. I know how it feels when someone special to me is entertaining girl friends to his home and staying longer than a day. How would you take that if you were the gf? So even if he said it was ok. That I can still go there and spend time with him I probably won't.

Come to think of it. There are really reasons why things happen. I moved to Alabang and shared an apartment with my former office mate. Maybe the reason behind it is this. I'll be having good times with my good friends/office mates because a friend will be busy with his own life by now. I'll be happy for him anyway. It is unexpected that's why I am feeling this way. Do I sound trying to convince myself? Well, until now I still cannot pretend.

fresh from vacation

2008-10-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back from a week long vacation.
I want to share my experience but I don't feel like it. What's wrong with me? Maybe I'm just tired or some thing's bothering me. Maybe because I'll be missing someone.

back to busy world

2008-09-29T03:01:00.000-07:00

Finally I'm back to the metro 3 days of being in the suburb is a detox to my body, mind and soul. How I will miss that place again. Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day just like today. Got to go to Laguna and complete my requirements before I leave and take some vacation in my hometown. Kelangan ko na asikasuhin ang mga dapat asikasuhin para walang hassle pag balik ko.

My three days stay in Imus was great! We had a Chuck marathon! Do you know that series? It's about a geek computer repairman turned into a spy. I get hooked on it after some episode and I enjoyed the whole season. Now its on second season. I feel much closer to Bog (well, best friend nya daw ako). We shared some of our personal stories from family, early childhood memories, reminiscing our high school days and his love stories. And last night we shared our personal ghost stories. I really freaked out when he told me he saw a boy in our house when he visited me back when I was hospitalized. You wanna know why? It's because there was no boy in our house back then. The only people who were there are my Aunt, my youngest sis and me so who is that boy? I was puzzled and frightened when I remembered what my aunt experienced one time she was sleeping on the couch and there he saw a child who is crying and then hid on the kitchen cabinet near the sink she was asking the child what's the matter but it wouldn't answer instead continued crying. She was dreaming then but how coincidental and there were also the story of my sis who saw a reflection of someone standing behind her on the t.v. when she was home alone one night. Kakatakot diba? Then after two years magkwento ng ganon si Bog kumusta naman diba? Then there were ghost stories of our deceased loved ones (me on my mother and him on his father) plus those stories he saw on youtube. I was really scared last night that I wouldn't let him go hehehehehe and he said he wouldn't do that again. He learned his lesson! Good! Damay damay lang yan! Alangan naman ako lang ang nahihirapan syempre kelangan sya din! We both didn't get a good night sleep and feeling heavy during the day.

condo unit for sale

2008-09-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

got up early, at around 6 a.m. Vianca, PB, and RC dropped by to use my washroom. Nag overnight sila sa office. Pede na silang sabitan nang medal sa pagiging bayani diba? Hehehehehe kelangan e. I need to be up early too since I have a scheduled job interview at the Fort in Taguig I'm not familiar with the place so I need to be early again so if ever I get lost I won't be in a rush. Actually I've been lost. Loko yung manong driver anlayo ng binabaan saken. But it's ok though at least I am not late for the appointment. The job, wow! sales consultant. Actually he (the interviewer) said he just got my resume through jobsdb, I didn't really applied for the post. I was asked if ever I get to choose between sales and office work what would I choose I said office work. Selling high end condo unit is a big risk. I know my capabilities so I can't really see myself in that field. Maybe I can do it part time. But full time as in eight hours a day six days a week. Come on! It's not my forte. Though I can do sales but not that huge. It's huge because we're talking of 8-10M worth of realty. I insisted on office staff position so the interviewer said he will just forward my application to their main office in Alabang. I said it's ok. So I'll be expecting their call next week. Kumusta naman diba? Nasa Bicol ako non.

After that brief interview (brief lang kasi di naman ako interested sa post and medyo madami pa syang interviewhin) I proceeded to Ayala, Makati went to Greenbelt and attended the 12nn mass.

Another call from BDO, I have a job interview on Monday in their main office here in Ortigas. So they were true to their word. When they (interviewer) said they would have my application evaluated for office staff position to be based on their Main I thought it's as good as thank you for coming but there are others who best fit the position.

start of something new

2008-09-23T03:41:00.000-07:00

Now I can safely say I'll be starting anew...

I am now officially resigned. Got everything clear by now and I'll just wait for the back pay and my other requirements. By next week I'll be going to my hometown. I am so excited. Really! It's been a long time since I've been there and it's town fiesta on the 7th so I will definitely enjoy!

got nothing to do

2008-09-22T03:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I've been to Greenbelt and attended the 4:30 p.m. mass. I was early for the mass so tambay muna ako don sa may labas ng Greenbelt 3. Stared at the pool where there were fishes swimming and children feeding them.

I realized then that it's been a long time since I've had that time doing nothing but staring blankly at the world around me. Appreciating small details and noticing how lovely the place was. Before, when I attend the mass I would proceed to the chapel and seat, kneel and pray. But yesterday was different I am not in a rush nor in a run. It's been a while when I would attend the mass on Sunday normally I would attend the Tuesday morning mass after work. When you look around you wouldn't notice you're in the middle of a busy business district. Everywhere are lush green and so peaceful. It really is good for the mind and soul that's why I enjoy attending the mass there. I feel relaxed.

Today, I got out of bed as early as 7 a.m. I had a job interview scheduled at 8:30 a.m. The location was unfamiliar to me so I have to be early so if ever I get lost I won't be late since I have lots of spare time. Location: E Rodriguez Ave., Bo. Ugong, Pasig. Hehehehe Yeah! I know that's near but haven't I told you I'm not familiar with it? I've taken 3 sets of exam. Nawindang ako don! Mostly arithmetic so kumusta naman ako? Well, it went ok naman I have to return tomorrow for the interview with the HR manager. Wish me luck!

When I got home at around 5 p.m. I received a phone call but it was cut off because of the signal problem which I constantly encounter. Hayz! I don't know who it was but I think it was a business call since the caller addressed me in my full name and he is speaking in English. I wish he would call again.

some kinda reunion

2008-09-20T22:43:00.000-07:00

It was Luigi's 18th birthday! Debut ng lola hehehehe. There should have been a celebration but it was cancelled on the last minute. Why? Dunno (sigh) I was excited pa naman.

But its ok though, I went to audrey's birthday party (my inaanak). More than a children's party it seemed like it was a reunion with my former office mates. We had fun reminiscing. Sobrang daming kwentuhan at tsismisan (syempre pa di na mawawala yon puro girls kami e). There was Hya with his bf Randy, Marianne, Cindy, Megs, Che-Che, Gracey, Racquel and others. Four years of stay in Mc Info made our bonding strong and I may say I grew emotionally and socially with them. They were my confidante, comrades and friends. We've shared laughter and tears.

Chatting with them yesterday brought me back to the days when we would talk about anything and everything from politics, religion, gossips, sex and personal life. It seemed we haven't had that secret from each other. I also recall when I was so down that I need their advise and their encouragement, yes we also share those stuff. Though they would give me advise in a not so conventional manner, unlike those love notes and serious talks their advises are accompanied with jokes and laughter. It may seem not right, just what Randy experienced last night when he heard how we gave advise to Racquel's love problem, we criticize and laugh about the problem. He asked "are you truly her friend? and do you always give such advises?" hehehehehe. Well that's the way it is! The reason is: We know you have a problem and you've cried over it so why would we be so serious about it. You can not solve it by crying and your mind won't be able to process/analyze while you are depressed so cheer up and laugh at it. When you get your mind cleared and you feel relaxed after some short laughs then you can think better. Tama naman diba?

Wish we could have stayed a little longer last night but we just can't. But it's ok though we'll see each other on Meg's son birthday on October 11. I can't wait for that day I'm so excited to see them and chat with them again.

God Has Nothing To Do With Our Poverty!

2008-09-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

Got this from friendster bulletin and I want to share this with you it's very inspiring, Brother Bo Sanchez you really inspire me. Hope you too will be inspired

God Has Nothing To Do With Our Poverty!

“Bo, you’re wrong. Poverty is a matter of fate…”

He came up to me right after I gave a talk on financial literacy. The man spoke to me with the gravity of a Supreme Court Justice, it scared me.

“Why do you say that, sir?” I asked.

“Because there are people who are born poor,” the man said, “And there are people who are born rich. That’s destiny. That’s the will of God.”

I winced. How could I tell him that I’ve been working for years (no, decades) with the poor—and this was the exact kind of distorted thinking that has trapped a lot of people in poverty. “God made me poor,” is an invisible placard written on the foreheads of many poor people I’ve met.

I told him, “To be born rich or poor is not a choice, that’s true. But to become rich or poor—that’s a choice that God leaves up to us.”

He looked at me as though I spoke in Swahili.

I wanted to explain myself but he wanted to ask me a very disturbing question…

God Leaves The Choice To Us

Whether To Be Rich Or Poor

“Bo, why are you teaching us to become rich?”

His tone of voice was sharp. Like he was asking me, “Why are you teaching us to murder people, burn their bodies, and eat their liver?”

He continued, “If you’re really a Christian, you should teach us to be content with where we are. Bo, aren’t you content with where you are?”

I laughed. “Oh, I’m very content.”

I never told this to him, but I’d like to tell you: Right now, if I choose to, I can stop working, deposit my money in a bank—and live on the interest. Sure, I have to simplify my lifestyle even further, but we’ll still be very comfortable.

With the interest I’ll earn from the bank, I can maintain my small house and simple car.

And yes, I can still bring out my wife for our weekly romantic dates.

And I can still bring my kids for our twice-a-year vacations. No more Macau trips, that’s for sure. But Tagaytay would be just fine.

I can even pay for our homeowner’s association dues. (A whopping P120 a month! Yes, I live in a happy third class subdivision.)

But if I stop working and live on my interest, a few things will have to change…

Life Isn’t Just About You

Today, I send a number of poor children to school. That has to stop.

Today, I finance a few missionaries. That has to stop.

Today, I provide capital for livelihood projects for the poor. That has to stop.

Today, I finance my new ministry projects in its trial period. That has to stop.

This is the reason why I’ve chosen to grow, to expand, to increase, and to become richer because I want to bless the world more.

That’s why I work very hard today!

Here’s what I learned: (1) To be content and (2) to want to grow can co-exist in your heart.

That can only happen when love rules your heart.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Nourish Your Soul Everyday!

Log on to:

www.kerygmafamily.com...

www.preacherinbluejeans.com...

www.bosanchez.ph...

PS. How did I grow my wealth? I applied specific spiritual and financial principles that have made me Financially Free. I want to help you grow in Financial Freedom as well. Learn these same spiritual and financial principles that will change your financial life! On October 4, I’m giving my powerful How To Be Truly Rich Seminar. To know more about it, click here.

PS2. Mentors may be your missing link to your success. (It definitely was mine.) I needed multi-millionaire mentors to teach me how money works. To learn more about my Truly Rich Financial Coaching Program on October 24 and 25, click here.

PS3. Do you have great evangelistic events yet seem to be losing people? Do people just ‘come and go’ without you knowing why? Are you truly happy with your numbers? Let us together diagnose what your community needs. Attend HIGH IMPACT COMMUNITY, A Seminar on Keeping People in Community, by Kerygma Preacher Arun Gogna. Date: September 20, Saturday; 8am to 5pm; Venue: Lay Force, San Carlos Seminary, Guadalupe Makati (Seminar Fee: P695.00 only) Call Noel or Melody at 823-9546 or (0915) 4493600

untitled

2008-09-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

Is there any place safer than here in Your house?
Can I wander around outside without being hurt?
Will there be comfort and warmth without Your love?
Seems nowhere and no one can give but only Thee

Outside the rain was pouring
The wind was vigorously blowing
The lightning and thunder was frightening
Left no option but to stay and keep on waiting

Will this rain ever subside?
When will it stop?
Like this adversity in life
Will there be a chance to get out?

My Offering

2008-09-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

Whenever I feel all alone
At times when I'm far from home
And got no one to turn to
There I was looking for You

Like a wandering child
Seeking opportunities in the world outside
Sometimes I see Your will uneasy to abide
Yet You never leave me behind

There You are my loving Father
Watching after His child so dear
Waiting for me to come near
Even if it seems only when tough times is here

Without any questions asked
With loving heart and open arms
A prodigal son will be welcomed back
With so much love and forgiveness at hand

Your house is like a haven
An oasis for those who have mistaken
Your Word is like a stream of clean water
To quench the thirst of a lost deer

Praises and offerings are not enough
For all those blessings that I had
And for the unconditional love
All I can offer is a pure heart

At times when my mind is unclear
When I get confused and stirred
Whenever wrong seems an option
You give me free will to decide on

Sometimes I get weak
I let my emotions leak
Unable to use my mind
Because worldly things got me blinded

Before I even ask
Your forgiveness is given
Waiting nothing but repentance
And a change of heart to obey Thy will

share ko lang

2008-09-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

Just wanna share what I read earlier in panorama an article by Jeffrey Pascua entitled "The Power of Mental Rehearsal"

"Imagination is the creation you imagine what you desire you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will"
From George Bernard Shaw

"Fear is the wrong use of imagination it is anticipating the worst, not the best that can happen"

on love and marriage

2008-09-06T01:52:00.000-07:00

Got this sms from bog ahehehe Nathaniel pala. It made me smile, think and wish it will never happen to me (the compromise) here it is:

One day, Plato asked his teacher "what is love? How can I find it?" His teacher answered, "There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk forward without turning back, and if you find the most magnificent stalk, then you found love."

Plato returned empty handed. His teacher asked "Why did you not pick any stalk?" Plato answered, "because I could only pic once, and yet I could not turn back. I did found d most magnificent stalk, but did not know if there were any better ones ahead, so I did not pick it. As I walked further the stalks were not as good as the earlier one. So I did not pick any in the end". His teacher said, "and that is love!"

Plato asked his teacher again. "what is marriage? How can I find it?" His teacher answered, "there is a forest in front. Walk forward without turning back and chop down only one tree. If you find the tallest tree, then you have found marriage."

Plato walked forward and before long he returned with a tree. The tree was not tall. It was only an ordinary tree. His teacher asked "why did you chop down such an ordinary tree?" Plato answered "because of my previous experience. I had walked thru the field but returned with empty hands. This time, I saw this tree, and felt that it was not bad, so I chopped it down and brought it back. I did not want to miss the opportunity." His teacher then said "and this is marriage. You see, love is the most beautiful thing to happen to a person, it's an opportunity but you don't realize its worth when you have it but only when it's gone like the fields or stalk. Marriage is like the tree you chopped, it's a compromise."

ME

2008-09-03T22:05:00.000-07:00

Twenty-six years of existence in this world... What have I learned about life? Let me share some:

There will always be changes.

Love will come and go and come again and go again. Give your best and don't be afraid to show how you feel so when it's over you can say to yourself at least I have tried. Don't be afraid that you'll get hurt because there's no way you won't get hurt when you fell in love. So keep hold of yourself. When you love someone you must make sure you love yourself more so when it has to end though you're heart maybe shattered you still have yourself intact.

God's plan is always for our good and no matter what we do we are bound to His plan. Yes, we do decide what and plan ahead of time but in the end no matter how well we have planned we will find that we are just choosing our path that leads unto His divine will. Absurd for those who don't believe but this is my blog so just read:p

True friends are hard to find and hard to keep. Along the road I have traveled I have known people of different sort. Some were just acquaintances, some became close friends, good friends and there were those whom I have shared years of true friendship. And there were friendships founded through the world wide web. It's good to have this all sort of people they have contributed in my growth emotionally, spiritually and socially. Though some have shared just moments of my life yet I treasure them dearly. Sometimes I wish to turn back time to be able to see them again and relive the good old days.

Family will always be the first and last resort. No matter what happens they will welcome you with open and loving arms.

what am i doin' here?

2008-09-03T02:42:00.000-07:00

what? another blogspot? just to get to comment on viancas post i need to sign up here. hahahahaha but its ok anyway maybe i'll just post my blogs here. what do you think? but what am i gonna write here? hmmmm? let me think.... personal blogs.... love story.... journal?... whatever it is i'll just write it down anyway.