my bucket list

I'm at a point where I want something to be done. However, I don't know how to do it. I want to accomplish something. Well, it all started after I watched the Bucket List. I was really moved by that film. My tears fell especially when Edward was saying his final words to Carter during the funeral. It was ironic that they became friends few months before they died. They were two different individuals with different personality and with different lifestyles yet they jived. Things really happen for a reason. I had some reflection and asked myself what do I needed and wanted to accomplish before I leave this world. It's amazing that even if they knew their death was fast approaching they enjoyed their life to the fullest. They were able to do the things they wanted and never thought would have done while they were in their younger years.
What if I'll have my own bucket list? What will I write there?
Hmmmmm.... I can start writing now....
1. Have the brow and ear piercing that I wanted.
2. Have a long and serious talk with my tatay.
3. Go see the wonderful places in the Philippines. (Mayon, Bohol, Palawan, Pagudpud and more)
I can't think of anything to add right now.... maybe tomorrow I will write some.... do I sound creepy? Well, just sharing my thoughts....

as the scar bleed

I never thought I would still feel hurt. I never expected tears would still roll down.
I spent my weekend in San Pedro. It was already late, no it was already morning about 1 a.m. but I don't feel sleepy. Since there was nothing interesting I could watch on t.v. I decided to reminisce. I looked at my old photos and letters that I've kept over the years. It was fun as I saw my old pictures with my friends, family and exes. As I sorted some of the letters I saw the old love letters my ex wrote for me. I read one, he wrote it when we celebrated our first anniversary. I was surprised with myself when a tear fell. Yes, I'm still affected. I know it's not healthy, but what can I do? As I read a line in the letter I was sobbing. The line was saying "kasama ka sa mga plano ko sa future". Yeah, that was before. I am included in his plans. He was built his dreams and he strive to reach for it. Proud as he is today, he's almost achieving all of it. It's just that I don't know if I'm still on it. Yes, we still communicate. He calls me constantly from overseas. Whenever he's here he would go to our house and still feels like a family but it all makes me confused. He's acting as if we are still together but don't want to commit. It made me hanging in mid air.

April fool's

I don't like this feeling, I'm missing him. Well, somehow he became special to me. I just want to be with someone I can talk to right now. I want to unwind. There's something I want to do but I don't know how to start. hayz.....