as the scar bleed

I never thought I would still feel hurt. I never expected tears would still roll down.
I spent my weekend in San Pedro. It was already late, no it was already morning about 1 a.m. but I don't feel sleepy. Since there was nothing interesting I could watch on t.v. I decided to reminisce. I looked at my old photos and letters that I've kept over the years. It was fun as I saw my old pictures with my friends, family and exes. As I sorted some of the letters I saw the old love letters my ex wrote for me. I read one, he wrote it when we celebrated our first anniversary. I was surprised with myself when a tear fell. Yes, I'm still affected. I know it's not healthy, but what can I do? As I read a line in the letter I was sobbing. The line was saying "kasama ka sa mga plano ko sa future". Yeah, that was before. I am included in his plans. He was built his dreams and he strive to reach for it. Proud as he is today, he's almost achieving all of it. It's just that I don't know if I'm still on it. Yes, we still communicate. He calls me constantly from overseas. Whenever he's here he would go to our house and still feels like a family but it all makes me confused. He's acting as if we are still together but don't want to commit. It made me hanging in mid air.